every night before I go to sleep
I invite all of my beloveds who have
died to join me around my bed to
sing with me
when I was younger
the attendance was sparse
it was like a barbershop quartet
of a few deceased loved ones and me
squeaking out a few
sweet improvised tunes
about the miracles of
this life and afterlife
In the echo chamber of
my quieting heart
but now that I’m older
The more crowded my
bedroom is getting
and the louder the singing
has become
lately some of my beloveds
are even bringing their instruments
to play around my bed
it’s not a seance
it’s a symphony
there are so
many beloveds
showing up to
help me compose
that I’ve had to ask
them to stand close
to each other
now, at bedtime
my packed bedroom has become
a bustling concert hall
some nights we play
the rock and roll of
gratitude
and some nights we all
hold classical violins and
play songs about
the energy of love
that radiates out
of the beating heart
of the universe
some nights we play the jazz
of how wonderfully terrifying it
can be to give our hearts
to each other
some nights we
sing acapella
some nights
we just hum
it doesn’t really matter
what style we choose
to play
because with every chord
this community of
beloved ghosts and
I create together
the less afraid of death I become
as it turns out
this adventure we
are on together
is all music
and the beat goes
on and on and on and…
~ john roedel